Phone Call

note to self: never answer any of his phone calls.

but i did. i just did. and no matter how many times i tried to erase the conversation in my memory, i cant. he said hello. i didn't answer. i asked who is this. i pretended as if i can pretend that i don't know him. really. he asked me how am i doing. i said i was fine. i asked him again, but this time, my voice betrayed me. it is as if i am just making a confirmation that it is really him on the other line. he said he was sad. i asked why. he said they broke up. i asked why. he said he wants to cry. i listened. i forgot how long i listened to his sobs.

pathetic. my mind was telling me to hung up but my thumb was petrified. it can't push that fcuking end button. it's as if it had a mind of it's own. my ears went wild whenever i hear him moan to tears, his voice was music to my ears. the reason was particularly unclear, but i liked the fact that i am connected to him.

Two Cents

writers block. that is my alibi whenever i am being asked why i suddenly stopped blogging. in reality, i am not even considering myself as a writer. the true one. i don't think i can ever be called as one. yeah, i can sort some words out and put them together to create a thought but, who wants to know what i have to say? who cares with what i want to share?

you? well, maybe. i am truly honored to know that you want to listen to me. in this particularly past-paced society, you still take your precious time out just to see how non sense i can be whenever i want to say something. honestly, THANK YOU.

"barya lang po sa umaga" that is what i always hear from people who cant break your bill. at some point, i think they are expecting a little when you are giving too much. or, they get more than what they really need that is why they want just a few so they can chew it and swallow it whole.

that is when i came to realize how important two cents can be. your thoughts can make or break someone else's opinion.

i miss the unsolicited advises from random people who happen to visit my lair from time to time. people who are not emotionally attached can give the most responsible opinion about stuff. they can teach you and make use of their own experiences as reference to whatever that is you have been going through.

do i owe it to them all? yes. at some point, i guess i do. who knows, there is someone like you who appreciate people like me. who need comfort and words from someone. from a total stranger. from someone who can walk with you till you get tired. who knows right?

:)