what will be my answer?
i tend to experience awful things about love. yes. it hurts more than it bleeds. but yeah, i just weep. stab my heart with memories of us being us. our moments that are immeasurable and yet disturbed.
what will i do?
i tried to hide. endure the pain alone. wear a fake smile and pretend that im okay. im good. im over. but no matter how i project my facade, my reality wont hide the fact that im alone. left behind. taken for granted.
ive seen people who have a different ways on coping up. they eat, they shop, they get different, sometimes weird hairstyles, they get their skin inked, they flirt, they stalk, they kill themselves... with more pain. pain that will eventually makes them numb. then immune. then the next thing they know, they are ready to get some more.
i know that sometimes, it's self inflicted. i bury myself with this kind of emotion. i choose to be bitter than to be okay. i nurse the feeling of being dumped. i struggle to keep myself okay but im not taking any actions at all to be fine. i blame the radio for playing the songs of our hearts. i blame other things that could make me remember. i blame everything but not my self.
until when?
i don't really know.
but why now?
why is he giving me these things? now that im slightly okay. now that i can smile and listen to the same song that used to make me cry. now that i can watch cheesy and mushy films without feeling any resentment at all. now that im almost over him.
i hate him for making me feel this way. for making me feel vulnerable. for making me fall and back to zero.
nice timing huh!
i tend to experience awful things about love. yes. it hurts more than it bleeds. but yeah, i just weep. stab my heart with memories of us being us. our moments that are immeasurable and yet disturbed.
what will i do?
i tried to hide. endure the pain alone. wear a fake smile and pretend that im okay. im good. im over. but no matter how i project my facade, my reality wont hide the fact that im alone. left behind. taken for granted.
ive seen people who have a different ways on coping up. they eat, they shop, they get different, sometimes weird hairstyles, they get their skin inked, they flirt, they stalk, they kill themselves... with more pain. pain that will eventually makes them numb. then immune. then the next thing they know, they are ready to get some more.
i know that sometimes, it's self inflicted. i bury myself with this kind of emotion. i choose to be bitter than to be okay. i nurse the feeling of being dumped. i struggle to keep myself okay but im not taking any actions at all to be fine. i blame the radio for playing the songs of our hearts. i blame other things that could make me remember. i blame everything but not my self.
until when?
i don't really know.
but why now?
why is he giving me these things? now that im slightly okay. now that i can smile and listen to the same song that used to make me cry. now that i can watch cheesy and mushy films without feeling any resentment at all. now that im almost over him.
i hate him for making me feel this way. for making me feel vulnerable. for making me fall and back to zero.
nice timing huh!
6 Pakelamera:
awww mare there will always come a point na babalik sila like as if nothing really happened. They would come back into ur life and stole your heart again and whats crazy about that, before you know it you are completely falling inlove with the same person, the same person who made you feel unwanted the same person who inflicted so much pain in your heart..and yet you fall..i miss you mykee kapit lang :) loveu
true love yata tawag dyan... kc kung hindi you wont feel the same again... kahit dinurog pa nya puso in the past, naks!
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halatang ndi kna nagbabasa ng blog ko.... 3 months ago pa poh ako umuwi ng pinas... delayed lang yung mga posts kc nga naging busy me while im home... d2 na ulit ako sa (madrid)spain.
embrace the pain, mate..it's the first step towards acceptance :)
hays... i feel for you.
at sino ito mare? bakit di ko ito nalalaman?
i love this line
"with more pain. pain that will eventually makes them numb. then immune. then the next thing they know, they are ready to get some more."
when people's hearts get crushed, they tend to self-destruct.
it's usually a chance to be wiser .. ;)
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